Scruple is a condition where you feel guilty about something that actually not your fault. And as self-punishment you usually become obsessed on something unconsciously, like obsessing to atone for your “sin” for example.
In my experience, I my self have been continuously doing it for years without actually knowing that it took a toll on me. Especially on my mental state. Sometimes I just feel like I’m going crazy because of it. And that no one knows it because I can’t tell them about it. And even if I tell them, their responds or answers are still not able to erase my guilt. Fortunately though, I find the answer to it when I’m still sane about it. And now I’m working my self on accepting the situation that “I’m guilty” about.
According to chastitysf.com
It’s an awkward, uncomfortable, and frustrating place to be—and so we all devote considerable energy to overcoming the feeling of “not knowing.”
- We might seek out intellectual knowledge through formal education.
- Engaging in scientific research.
- We might join country clubs, gangs, cults, cliques, or any other social organization that purports to offer some secret “knowledge.”
- Maybe searching through myriads of pornographic images hoping for the special privilege of seeing what is usually kept hidden.
- We might seek out “carnal knowledge” through the body of another person and attempt to locate the psychological agony of our bodily mystery in the pleasure—or pain—of the other.
- Creating our own fantasy worlds—with thoughts and images of eroticism, heroism, revenge, or destruction—in which we can “figure it out” on our own so as to possess the power and recognition we so desperately crave.
Nevertheless, all the “knowledge” that we can find in the world is nothing but a thin veil that hangs over the dark anguish of helplessly “not knowing.” Standing before the veil, suspecting our “not knowing,” we feel confused, wretched, weak, useless—and angry.
Because it is this anger—and your fear of it and your hiding it—that fuels the problem of scruples, let’s explore how it happens.
SOMETIMES ACCEPTING IS HARDER THAN BEING GUITY ABOUT IT, BUT BELIEVE ME ONCE YOU ACCEPT THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE, YOU’LL FEEL FREE AND LIGHTER.
According to wikipedia, scrupulosity is characterized by pathological guilt about moral or religious issues. It is personally distressing, objectively dysfunctional, and often accompanied by significant impairment in social functioning. It is typically conceptualized as a moral or religious form of obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), although this categorization is empirically disputable.
Being guilty this way doesn’t mean that you’re experiencing scruple, especially if it truly is your fault. That’s why I suggest you to talk to someone to help you figure it out, especially someone with psychology knowledge. Someone like a psychiatrist or maybe someone close to you who have a psychology degree or something similar. You can also try confessing it in front of a Clergyman during your penance or reconciliation.
The Cause of Scruple
You also have to remember that something psychological, like scruple, often occurs unconsciously. And what makes it hard-to-get-rid-of is mostly within yourself. Some of the cause are:
- Because you don’t trust others enough to believe their words. This usually happens when you use your religion as an escape. For this I recommend to try confessing to your religion leader, like your Pastor, Clergyman, Imam, Monk, etc.
- Your pride. For this cause, I suggest you try to open up and trusting other people more.
- You’re just afraid of accepting reality.
- Other people or someone from your family blames you for something and won’t working things out with you afterwards. With friends, I think you’ll rarely take it to hard since you can easily talk and work it out together.
- Being overly conscious about a problem or tragedy where you’re actually not a part of or just a third party.
How to exit a scruple state
- Talk about it to someone you trust. And make sure that person have a fair knowledge about psychology. He/she doesn’t have to be your family or friends, as long as you trust them. Like a psychiatrist or a Clergyman for example.
- Don’t blame yourself anymore if it’s not your fault to begin with. Accept it and move on.